The Lost Let Go List

This week’s time change has brought more dark hours and a good amount of rain in my neck of the woods. We survived Halloween. We’re also gearing up for student-led conferences. I always enjoy watching students run the show.

This week’s question is about worry and reality. Last week I was gone a couple of days and was a little backed up on grading. I let some stress creep in. Now looking back, everything turned out just fine.

That’s often true for most of the things I end up worrying about.

Now, here is your quote, resources, book, and affirmation to power you through the rest of your week.

Quote

"It is perfectly true, as the philosophers say, that life must be understood backwards. But they forget the other proposition, that it must be lived forwards." - Søren Kierkegaard, from his journals (1843)

Resource: A Year Later

I went looking for last year's Let-Go List this week. Couldn't find it.

Then I tried to remember what was on it, and I couldn't do that either. I know I wrote down three things I was done carrying into November. I know at least one of them felt like a very big deal at the time.

I’m sure part of it is my age, but that can’t be the entire story.

Most of what felt heavy last November is gone. Not because I fixed it. It just stopped mattering, the way most of it does.

Psychologists Daniel Gilbert and Timothy Wilson study how people predict their own feelings. We expect the bad stuff to hit harder and last longer than it actually does. They call it the impact bias. The lesson that flopped. The observation that went sideways. In the moment, each one feels like it'll follow you around all year. Most of them won't make it to Thanksgiving.

Kierkegaard had it right. You only understand this looking back.

So write this year's list anyway. Three things you're carrying that next November you probably won't remember. Next to each one, write what you'll make room for instead, because an empty space fills up with something, and it's better if you pick what it is. Then drop one by Friday. (Last year's version of the practice is here: Letting the Leaves Fall.)

I’ve been painting for a summer job for each of my 28 years teaching. Anyone who's painted a room knows where your mistakes may have occurred. A year later you can't find them. You're just living in the room.

Book

Stumbling on Happiness by Daniel Gilbert - A Harvard psychologist shares why we're so bad at predicting what will make us happy, and how long the bad stuff will sting. Funny, easy to read, and it'll make you go a little easier on the version of you who's sure this week is a disaster. (Affiliate link. I may earn a small commission at no cost to you.)

Worth Your Time

• Principals Are Stressed Out. Here's What's Plaguing Them, and What Can Help (Education Week): a Texas A&M study on work spilling into evenings, and the first fix is cutting "phantom tasks" that have no clear purpose. Swap "principal" for "teacher," and it reads like a Let-Go List.
• The 80% Lesson Plan Will Teach Just Fine: for the perfectionist who's still rewriting a lesson that already worked well enough. A good first line for this year's Let-Go List.
• How would you respond to this?

From the Archive

• The One-Thing Week: pick one thing and let the rest wait. Good company for the drop-one-by-Friday step.
• You're Further Along Than You Think: for anyone past the halfway point of the 30-day challenge, or of the fall.

Now Repeat…

Most of what feels heavy today won't make the trip to next November, so I can set some of it down now.

Question of the Week

What's one thing you worried about at school this week that turned out fine?

Hit reply and tell me. I read every one.

P.S.

Day 16 of our 30-day challenge (#30DaySTRONG), so we're past halfway. If yours has slipped, shrink it and keep going. A five-minute walk still counts. Add a song to the shared playlist while you're at it, or grab an idea from the Thirty-Day Challenges workbook if you're starting late.

New on the podcast: Why Rough Days Feel Permanent (And How to Reset) | STRONG Teacher Pep Talk. Got a question for the show? Hit reply.