The Perfectionism Trap
Teacher burnout peaks in mid-January when perfectionism meets reality. Discover the Stoic practice of Amor Fati and how to hold standards without shame.
"Perfectionism is not the same thing as striving to be your best. Perfectionism is the belief that if we live perfect, look perfect, and act perfect, we can minimize or avoid the pain of blame, judgment, and shame."
— Brené Brown
Here's what nobody tells you about mid-January: This is when perfectionism becomes especially toxic. You can see it all now. The gap between where you planned to be and where you actually are. The students who aren't progressing the way you hoped. Every year, I have great ideas that I plan to implement, but inevitably, I run out of steam and don't get to them all.
The systems that looked great in August are breaking down in week 20.
Mid-January gives you perfect visibility into imperfection. And if you're not careful, that visibility can drain the rest of your year.
There's a difference between holding standards and holding perfectionism. Standards say, "I will do my best with what I have." They ask, "What's working? What needs adjustment?" They're grounded in reality.
Perfectionism says, "My best should have been better." It asks, "Why isn't this perfect yet? What's wrong with me?" It's grounded in shame. You can hold high standards while releasing perfectionism. In fact, you must—because perfectionism makes you less effective, not more.
The Stoics had a practice called Amor Fati—love your fate. Not "tolerate what's happening" or "make the best of a bad situation." Actually love it. Love the reality you're in, not the one you wish you had.
Applied to mid-January teaching, this means loving THIS semester with THESE students in THIS reality. Not the semester you planned in August. Not the one you see on Instagram. Not the one you think you "should" be teaching. This one. The messy, imperfect, behind-schedule, not-going-as-planned one you're actually in.
Because this is the only semester you have. And you can either spend the next five months resenting its imperfection, or you can accept it and work with what's real.
With Gratitude,
Jeremy
P.S. If you're struggling to release perfectionism on your own, you're not alone. Inside The STRONG Teacher's Lounge, teachers are practicing Amor Fati together—naming what they're releasing, supporting each other through the messy middle, and proving that sustainable teaching is possible. Join us.
