The Validation

If you‘re like me, a good amount of your teaching day involves putting out fires and addressing learning challenges. It’s easy to let the opinions of others and data drive whether we feel good about our teaching or not.

Remember to leave some time in your day to sit with yourself and direct your attention to all the things that went well. The fact that you show up day after day to a very difficult job is a powerful example of your character.

When you focus on your successes, I think you’ll find you get more of them.

Here’s a quote, a resource, a book, and an affirmation to help power you through the rest of the week.

QUOTE

“Never depend on the admiration of others. There is no strength in it. Personal merit cannot be derived from an external source. It is not to be found in your personal associations, nor can it be found in the regard of other people. Grow up! Who cares what other people think about you!”
— Epictetus, The Art of Living

RESOURCE

The Approval Loop

Two weeks ago, the gap. Last week, what’s filling your mind before you even get there. This week, Epictetus shines a light on something most teachers won’t admit to — how much of what we do is quietly aimed at being seen doing it well.

Teaching is a profession with a built-in approval feedback loop. Grades give students feedback. Evaluations give teachers feedback. Parent emails tell you where you stand. Admin walkthroughs with their clipboards and rubrics show up at the exact moment you were trying something new. The whole architecture of school is organized around external assessment.

We often lose sight of the fact that the most important assessment is the one we give ourselves.

That’s what Epictetus is naming. Not vanity. Something quieter and more exhausting — the habit of checking outside yourself to know if you’re okay.

The Stoic term for what he’s pointing toward is autarkeia — self-sufficiency. Not arrogance. Not indifference to feedback. The ability to hold your own sense of your own work without needing it confirmed by someone else every time.

You know when a lesson landed. You know when a student needed something you gave them. You know. You don’t need the email to confirm it.

Try it this week:

• After a lesson, before asking anyone else’s opinion: What do I actually think of how that went?
• Notice when you’re doing something to be seen doing it, versus doing it because it’s right. No judgment — just notice.
• Write down one thing you’re proud of this week that nobody witnessed. Let it count.
• If you received critical feedback recently, ask: Is this useful? Or am I just in pain? Both are allowed. They’re different things.
• Name one professional standard you hold for yourself that has nothing to do with evaluation criteria.

The admiration of others feels nice. But it was never a foundation.

Next week — the final piece. What happens when you do this inside work long enough that it starts to change the rooms you’re in?

Read more: “4 Ways to Stop Relying on Reassurance for Self-Worth” — Psychology Today

BOOK

The Courage to Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga

Built on Adlerian psychology and written as a Socratic dialogue, this book asks one of the most clarifying questions a teacher can sit with: What would you do if you stopped needing approval? It’s not about becoming indifferent. It’s about becoming free. Pairs with this week’s Epictetus better than anything else I’ve found. Check it out.

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WORTH YOUR TIME

📖 Compassion Is Not Soft — It’s the Health Practice You’ve Been Ignoring — The connection between showing up for others and your own wellbeing — research-backed and directly relevant to this week.

📖 Ikigai for Teachers — Why excellent teachers burn out — and the one pillar most of us quietly abandon while calling it dedication.

📖 Testing Season Stress: How to Separate the Climate from the Content — The test belongs to the institution. The climate of your room belongs to you. That distinction is the whole strategy.

AFFIRMATION

I know the quality of my own work — I don’t need it confirmed to make it real.

P.S. Week three of Built From Within is live inside The STRONG Teacher’s Lounge. This week’s discussion prompt and the Internal Compass Guide are available to all members. Premium members can also dig into the broader Stoicism archive in the classroom. Join us!

Stay STRONG.

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