When a Student Says "I Can't"

When students struggle, our instinct is to make it easier. Remove the obstacle. Lower the bar. Accommodate the anxiety. Sometimes that's exactly what they need. But sometimes—maybe more often than we realize—what they actually need is help building the capacity to handle hard things.

This is one of the things that increases the mental load of teaching the most for me.

This tension lives in every classroom. The student who says they can't present in front of the class. The one who needs extended time on every assignment. The one who's disengaged but won't tell you why. Do we remove the challenge, or do we scaffold their way through it? Do we accommodate the struggle, or do we teach them how to struggle well?

It's not an either/or. It's constantly searching for balance. Here are some articles I thought were interesting this week. I wonder what you think?

Schools Are Accommodating Student Anxiety—and Making It Worse

This piece from the Teachers College at Columbia challenges the default response to student anxiety. The research shows that when we accommodate anxiety by removing every uncomfortable situation, we might actually reinforce it. Students never learn that they can handle discomfort. They never discover their own resilience.

The article isn't saying "ignore anxiety" or "stop accommodating." It's saying sometimes the most supportive thing we can do is help students face what scares them. With scaffolding, not avoidance.

Read more: Schools Are Accommodating Student Anxiety—and Making It Worse - Teachers College Columbia

Soft Skills Matter Now More Than Ever, According to New Research

The irony: As students face more anxiety, more overwhelm, more digital distraction, the skills that matter most are human ones. Communication. Emotional intelligence. Resilience. Collaboration.

This Harvard Business Review piece shares new research showing that employers and educators both agree—soft skills aren't "soft." They're essential. And they're built through practice, through challenge, through navigating difficulty. You can't develop resilience by avoiding everything hard. You develop it by doing hard things and discovering you can.

Read more: Soft Skills Matter Now More Than Ever, According to New Research - Harvard Business Review

Are Students Quiet Quitting? What the Workplace Trend Can Teach Us About K-12

Students doing the bare minimum. Disengaging emotionally while still showing up physically. Sound familiar? It's the same "quiet quitting" phenomenon that swept workplaces. And the causes are similar—feeling overwhelmed, disconnected from purpose, unsure if effort even matters.

The fix isn't to demand more from burned-out students. It's to rebuild engagement by giving them challenges that feel meaningful, relationships that feel real, and skills that help them navigate difficulty instead of withdrawing from it.

Read more: Are Students Quiet Quitting? What the Workplace Trend Can Teach Us About K-12 - Education Week

When a student says, "I can't," how do I know whether I should remove the obstacle or help them build the capacity to climb over it?

I don't have a formula. But I'm learning to ask: Is this going to build their ability to handle the world, or is it keeping them dependent on me, removing every hard thing?

Both matter. The balance is the work.

What about you?

When do you know it's time to accommodate vs. time to push? Have you had a student surprise you by handling something you thought they couldn't? Or a time you removed an obstacle and later realized you should have scaffolded instead?

Hit reply. I'd genuinely love to hear how you're navigating this.

Stay STRONG,
Jeremy

P.S. If you're wrestling with these same questions—when to accommodate, when to challenge, when to push, when to pull back—join us inside The STRONG Teacher's Lounge. We're figuring it out together.